


Stitches

by OperationFCC, sheithfromvoltron (theeShadyLady)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Drunken Confessions, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lance and Keith are roommates, M/M, Orphan Keith (Voltron), Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SHEITH - Freeform, Tumblr Roleplay, Veteran Shiro, cardiac surgeon shiro, intern keith, intern lance, zarkon and lotor have different names
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2018-12-20 17:03:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11925312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OperationFCC/pseuds/OperationFCC, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theeShadyLady/pseuds/sheithfromvoltron
Summary: Hospital AUKeith definitely does not believe the rumors. Keith definitely doesn't have a crush. Even if he did, Shiro would never be interested in him, not if he knew even half of what has went through to get to here.Dr. Shirogane is a legend at Altea Memorial Hospital and not just for his skill as a surgeon but also for being devastatingly handsome, just ask the interns.But the pedestal everyone puts him on may be made of a darker past than people seem to think.





	1. PART 1

**OperationFCC:**

“Congratulations on that surgery the other day, Shirogane.”

Shiro looked up from his charts to see the Chief of Surgery walking up to him, a pleased grin spread across her lips.  He managed to smile back through his exhaustion, setting his clipboard down on the counter of the nurse’s station as he turned to her.  “Thanks, Chief.”

Chief Allura Arus crossed her arms over her chest and gave a slight tilt of her head, a gesture that meant one of two things: either you’d pissed her off or made her proud.  Shiro was glad to be on the latter end of that spectrum.  “Eleven straight hours,” she commended.  “You’re a champ.  That kid’s going to live a long life, thanks to you.”

“And my team, ma’am,” Shiro added, feeling his own touch of pride at how well his interns had done throughout the whole process.  They had come a long way from when they started a year ago.  Especially one in particular, Dr. Keith Kogane, who had scrubbed in to assist him four hours into the surgery, committing himself to its completion seven hours later. 

“Ever the humble surgeon,” she chuckled.  She patted him on the shoulder before turning to leave.  “Keep up the good work, Hero.”

Shiro scoffed, trying not to roll his eyes at the nickname that had unfortunately stuck with his colleagues.  Truth be told, it just made him feel like an ass, like others would think he actually relished in the praise.  It certainly wasn’t why he chose this job.  Shiro picked up his charts and leafed through them as he strode down the hallway.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Keith nodded at the nurse, his lips pressed into a line that shifted to a smile as he walked into the room. “How are we feeling today, Ethan?”

“Hi, Dr. Keith,” the boy wiped at his eyes, “I fell of my bike… again.” His eyes flashed to his father and he cringed.

“Yeah, kid’s a klutz. Bought him knee pads and wrist guards and everything, but he refuses to wear them.”

“I see,” he nodded, trying to keep his voice friendly. “It’s your wrist, right? Can I see?” The boy nodded and Keith carefully touched his arm, tracing a finger towards his wrist, making Ethan yelp. Definitely broken.

“Okay,” he gave Ethan an encouraging smile as one of the nurses came in, “my friend here is going to take you down for an x-ray, just like usual.” He couldn’t stop the glare he shot at the boy’s father, but the man was scrolling his phone, not paying attention anyway.

* * *

_Ugh!_  Keith slammed the break room fridge closed and slammed a fist against the front of it. “How can people be so awful?” he growled, not realizing Shiro had just walked.

He whipped around at the noise Shiro made to announce his presence. He was angry and tired and fed up. “He’s been in here four times in the last three month. We all know that asshole is beating him. And I can’t do anything! He’s got Ethan so scared of being taken away that he won’t say anything other than the lies he’s been taught to recite!”

He knew some of the boy’s fear to be taken away wasn’t uncalled for. Keith knew from experience that being in the system wasn’t great. Being bounced around from overcrowded house to overcrowded house wasn’t great. Being see as nothing but a paycheck that took up space wasn’t great. But it is better than being beat down and broken by the person that’s supposed to protect you.

“If he comes in again I’m going to break his father’s arm myself.” He looked away, embarrassed to have lost control like that. “Sorry, it’s not you’re problem.”

 

**OperationFCC:**

Shiro listened patiently, despite the second-hand frustration he was beginning to feel from the topic at hand and the ire in Keith’s words.  He folded his arms across his chest in an attempt to hide his clenched fists.  Knowing that that boy’s father was hurting him bad enough to send him to the hospital… no, the fact that he was hurting him at all made his blood feel blistering hot beneath his skin.

The hard truth hovered between them like a phantom - there was nothing they could do to help that boy.  Red tape and regulations prevented them for reporting their suspicions; they needed solid evidence before they could present anything to the police.

When Keith was finished, he looked embarrassed and reeled himself back in.  In all honestly, that was why he favored him over the other interns.  The guy was fiercely passionate, and while most surgeons believed that too much passion would hinder you in this job, Shiro knew that it could only be an asset in the long haul.

He almost envied Keith.  Shiro couldn’t afford to lose his cool anymore.

He breathed out a slow, despondent sigh before walking over to Keith, clasping a hand on his shoulder.  “As a surgeon and a human being, it’s as much my problem as it is yours.  C’mon.  There’s one thing we can try.”

* * *

“Chief, there has to be something you can do.  An exception.   Please.”

Chief Arus knitted her brow as she rubbed a hand against her forehead, stress riddled across her face.  Sitting behind her desk, she glanced up and met Shiro’s eyes, her expression of mixture of sympathy and aggravation.  “Dr. Shirogane, you know there is nothing I can do.  We don’t have any proof.  I’m sorry.”

“Allura, please,” he persisted, using her first name to remind her that they were friends before they were surgeons.  He planted his hands on her desk and leaned forward.  “Four times.  This is the fourth time Ethan has been admitted to this hospital.  You know that’s not a coincidence.”

The move he played wasn’t missed.  Slowly and deliberately, Allura stood from her chair, leveling with him now - a reminder to him that despite their friendship, she was still his Chief of Surgery.  “I’m sorry, Shiro.  I want to be on your side with this, but you and Dr. Kogane have to bring me proof, or Ethan has to admit to it.  Those are your options.”

Still leaning against the desk, he hung his head and closed his eyes - he had really hoped this would work.  He glanced over his shoulder at Keith, an apologetic look on face.  It was bad enough he got his own hopes up.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

He knew it wouldn’t work, but Shiro had gotten his hopes up. A hot burst of hate slammed into his chest, but was gone even quicker than it came. Shiro was only trying to help and it was his own fault for dumbing this on his mentor.

Now he just felt guilty. Guilty for his own thoughts. Guilty for bringing Shiro in. Guilty for letting Ethan go home. Keith let out a sigh as he followed Shiro out, stepping around once they were in the hall to match stride with him. “He’ll be back at noon on Monday to get his cast, I can try to talk to him again… just have to hope nothing else happens between now and then.”

Thankfully it was the end of his shift, so he wouldn’t have to meet with anymore patients in his frazzled state. Right about now heading home, picking up take-out, and choking down a couple sleeping pills was sounding pretty good.

 “Thanks for trying though, I know you didn’t have to and I really hope you aren’t in too much trouble with Chief Arus.” He nodded a goodbye to Shiro and veered away, heading for the changing room, but stopped short after a few steps. “Hey, Hero?” the name tasted strange coming off his tongue and he didm;t understand how anyone could call him that with a straight face.

“I… mean, Shiro…” again he hesitated, not sure why he’d turned back. “When do you… when is your shift over? We could both use a drink and I probably owe you dinner or something for trying to help me out…”  _Did he just ask his mentor out? No,_  he corrected himself,  _this is purely a ‘thanks for trying to help me even though we both knew it wouldn’t work and it’s only Wednesday but it’s been a long week_ _’ type of deal._ “…if you don’t have plans?”

 

**OperationFCC:**

“Don’t mention it,” Shiro said with a shrug, knowing Allura wouldn’t stay upset with him for too long.  He made it a point to apologize to her later, though.  It was the least he could do for trying to make things personal in front of an intern.  He rubbed at the back of his neck, his muscles feeling tight from the confrontation and subsequent defeat.  How is it that they were able to stave off death from one child and yet couldn’t find a way to help Ethan?  The irony was maddening.

He nodded to Keith who looked about ready to leave.  “Have a good night, Keith.”

Shiro turned away, shoving his hands into his coat pockets, but halted when Keith dropped the dreaded nickname.   _Great.  Now the interns are using it?_   The younger man switched to using his preferred moniker, to Shiro’s relief, but he felt his chest tighten at the suggestion that they could both use a drink after today.  

He could have used a drink for the last five months.  In his coat pocket, his hand closed over the small coin that had “5-months-sober” inscribed across it.

“I’m not much of a drinker– ” The words tasted like bitter lies as he spoke, but he was able to hide them behind a cordial smile. “–but I won’t say no to dinner.”  Shiro managed to prevent himself from flinching at how that may have come off, possibly implying something that he hadn’t intended.   _It’s just dinner_.  He wondered briefly if his colleagues would see it the same way.  Hospitals were really just high schools for adults when it came to rumors and gossip.

He checked his watch, which read 9:14 PM.  “Think you could sit tight for ten, fifteen minutes?  I just have to check on one more patient, then my shift’s over.”

When Keith didn’t protest, he gave him a small wave and headed down to the east wing.


	2. PART 2

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Keith went ahead and changed back into his usual clothes. Plain t-shirt, black jeans, and a leather jacket all making him look the opposite of the medical professional he was trained to be, or at least that’s what Lance always said. A short huff escaped him at the thought. Maybe he should have accepted when Lance wanted to drag him through the mall for new clothes.

 _No_ , he scolded himself _._ Why did he keep acting like this was a date or something? It wasn’t. He didn’t even want it to be. Sure, nearly all the other interns had a thing for Shiro, but not Keith. Nope, those deep gray eyes and that smile that easily lit up an entire room did absolutely nothing for him; nothing at all. His heart had definitely not skipped a beat at Shiro agreeing to dinner.

Keith waited out front, feeling like an idiot as he stood there alone. Trying to distract himself from how weird this felt, he pulled out his phone glaring at the notification bar seeing there were multiple texts from Lance and already knowing what they said. He swiped at the screen anyway.

`   LANCE:  Hey   
   LANCE:  I saw Ethan was in again  
   LANCE:  He okay?`

Lance was had been the one to take Ethan down to radiology the last two times  he was in, so he had an idea of what was going on as well.

`   KEITH:  broken wrist biking accident`

It made him cringe just typing the lie, but a noise to his left had him shoving his phone back in his pocket. “Hey. So, uh, what are you in the mood far?” His mind blanked a little seeing Shiro in something other than his usual black scrubs…  _okay so maybe he wasn’t totally unaffected by the legendary Doctor Shirogane._

 

**OperationFCC:**

When his shift was over, Shiro donned his casual threads - a pair of dark jeans, a long sleeve blue button-up and a white T-shirt underneath.  He rummaged into his coat for the AA coin and transferred it to his back pocket before stashing the coat and his scrubs into his locker.  As he began to neatly roll his sleeves up to his elbows, he wondered if keeping the shirt open or buttoning it up would look better.  

He knitted his brow, shaking his head at the thought.  What did that matter?  He was just going to dinner with a colleague.  The rationale hadn’t stopped him from giving himself a quick once-over in the mirror before leaving the changing room.  He decided to leave the shirt open.

“Hey, thanks for waiting,” Shiro greeted him with a smile when he spotted Keith up front.  He had to admit - he wasn’t expecting to see him in a leather jacket, but damn if he didn’t look good in it..

* * *

They found themselves at some Asian fusion restaurant when neither could decide where they wanted to go.  It was late Wednesday night so the place wasn’t very busy, and the hostess sat them in a booth in one corner of the restaurant.  

“Just water for me, thanks,” Shiro politely told the waiter.

He was nervous and tried to make an effort not to show it.  It had been some time since he found himself in any kind of social situation that wasn’t grabbing coffee with Allura or hanging out with Matt at his apartment.  But he and Keith always worked well together whenever they were on the same case, and they got along fine.  What could be the harm in widening his social circle a little?

“How’s studying for your exams?” he asked, work being the most comfortable topic that came to mind.  In a couple of weeks, the interns would be taking their exams for their residency, and the cloud of anxiety that hung above their heads was hard to miss.  He gave a small shrug of his shoulder and added with a smile, “Or we don’t have to talk about work.  It’s been a long day.”

He figured it was possible Keith wanted to avoid talking about what happened today altogether.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Keith absentmindedly pressed a finger to the top of the straw in his glass, moving it in circles making the ice swirl. Figuring it was probably best not to drink in front of the guy who was pretty much his boss, Keith had ordered a water as well but wasn’t really feeling up to drinking it.

“I think I’m doing okay,“ his shrug matched Shiro’s, “kinda just wishing I could take ‘em now and be done, y’know?”  _Stupid!_  Of course he knows; he took the tests too. 

Keith couldn’t focus, couldn’t relax. He was trying to think of something to say, but coming up with nothing. Mainly because he was trying even harder not to stare, which definitely was not made more difficult by the opportunity to take in all the details of Shiro that he didn’t get to work now that they were this close and their wasn’t a bleeding patient between them.

“Excuse me, sorry,” Keith suddenly motioned to the waiter as he passed by again, “could I get a whiskey sour?” It would probably be best just to take a little of the edge off with just one drink. 

Or two… Fifteen minutes later, the second was half gone and Keith was picking at the sashimi on his plate. “Do you ever regret becoming a surgeon? I always wanted to join the military, but,” he poked at his chest, “arrhythmia put an end to that. Doesn’t effect me though, no other way than that. You have nice eyes.” And suddenly his filter was gone, the word barrier broken.

“All the interns say so, never really believed them, but their right.” He took another sip. “They’re kind of like after a storm, when everything is real still and clear and it’s hard to remember that the sky had been screaming only minutes ago.”

 

**OperationFCC:**

Keith looked just about as nervous as Shiro felt, which was strangely comforting - at least he wasn’t alone in his uneasiness.  Eventually, the younger man just ordered a drink, which Shiro had been prepared for, but that didn’t stop his throat from drying when the waiter set the whiskey sour down on the table.  His go-to.  The universe was cruel sometimes.

His eyes darted away from the drink, and he focused on Keith instead.   _Yes, let’s just stare at the handsome guy in the leather jacket all night.  That’s better._

Shiro, as always, was very conscious of his actions - he had to be.  Every now and again, he’d glance away, then focus on Keith, and when he brought his drink to his lips, Shiro would look over to the kitchen area until he set it back down.  Jesus, he was being obvious, wasn’t he?  At the very least, he would come off distracted.  The alcohol seemed to work its way through Keith’s system, however, and Shiro hoped that the younger man wouldn’t notice his odd behavior.  

Shiro shook his head at Keith’s question, maintaining a small smile.  “No, never regretted becoming a surgeon.  Becoming a field medic… that’s a different story.”  He didn’t know why he said it.  Maybe it was Keith’s mention of the military.  Maybe, in the moment, it was just easier to say something remotely interesting than to let the silences settle in.  

Somehow, he felt relieved that Keith hadn’t made it into the military, though it made him feel a little awful.

Then Keith veered into a direction he hadn’t expected, and Shiro could feel the blood rush to his cheeks.  He also couldn’t stop the stupid grin from spreading across his lips as he glanced down, shaking his head - mostly from embarrassment from never knowing how to take a compliment but with some gratitude.  He directed the smile toward Keith, still feeling the heat beneath his skin.  He pushed through it, giving him a small tilt of his head, “You’re quite the poet, Kogane.  And, thank you.”  

He wasn’t completely ignorant of how the interns talked about him, but he never really let it affect him.  Though, there was something really… nice about hearing it from Keith.

Before he could stop himself, he returned the compliment.  “You have nice eyes, too.  They always seem to be very passionate.”

_That… was a normal compliment right?_

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

He’d been going to ask about him being a field medic, he’d heard rumors of heroic acts, but wanted to know the real stories. And was quickly finding himself wanting to know all of Shiro’s stories, but that’s not what he brought up when he spoke.

“You like my eyes?” he grinned, not at all hiding how flattered he was by the compliment, “I’m glad… yeah,” he nodded, “I’m glad. I’m also kind of glad I ended up washing out.” His topic changed even faster than the alcohol had set in. “I don’t want to hurt people; I wanna help them. Ever since I was fifteen that’s all I’ve wanted to do.”

His buzzing mind not thinking to even stop for breath as he let the words fall out. “Second trip to juvie on the horizon, bruises on every knuckle, two broken ribs, a busted lip, and a black eye, but I was wearing the dumbest smile,” he laughed at the memory. “My dream of being a soldier crushed by my own body, but it didn’t matter. That’s not what I wanted anymore, I was going to catch up on my classes, graduate on time, and become a surgeon.”

Keith paused thanking the waiter after being handed his third drink then picked back up on his story like he’d never stopped, “ended up skipping eleventh grade, graduated a year early and got offered a full scholarship from three different universities; which thank god for that and sealed records because I never really thought about how a broke, delinquent foster child would pay for schooling otherwise.”

Taking a sip of his untouched drink, he watched Shiro’s eyes leave him and wander around the restaurant. Suddenly realizing he’d just laid his whole shitty backstory on the table for Shiro to see and how much of a turn off that was he pursed his lips to keep any more from spilling out.

By this point, Keith was a little too far gone to even realize how much he disliked the idea of doing something to make Shiro lose interest in him.  _Was he interested? Did he want Shiro to be interested?_  These were questions that should have came to mind, but didn’t, except perhaps for a distant sprint in the back of his mind, but no where near where he could grasp.

His eyes fell to Shiro’s unbuttoned shirt and another thoughtless sentence popped out. “You know, you look… different in regular clothes.” Thinking it may have come off as an insult, Keith made an amendment. “Not that you don’t look good in scrubs and a lab coat, but right now you look more like hot guy next door that adopts baby kittens and is a part-time model instead of sexy Grey’s Anatomy Adonis in scrubs that somehow look good even though scrubs really only have the flattering abilities of a burlap sack.” He was much too worried about not offending to realize that he’d just completely described how attractive he thought his mentor was  _to_  his mentor.

 

**OperationFCC:**

Shiro’s chest tightened at Keith’s smile.  It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, but he sure as hell didn’t know what to do with it.  He was thankful for Keith’s constant conversation though, drunk or not; it was helping him feel a little more at ease.

He sat up, leaning forward with his arms folded over the table as Keith began divulging parts of his past.  He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips as he listened to his story, still glancing away every now and again.  From the sounds of it, he took an incredibly unfortunate situation and completely turned it around.  Now, he was in a successful career in medicine - successful in that Shiro didn’t have a single doubt in his mind that Keith was going to pass his exams and begin his residency.

In the last thirty seconds, he discovered more about Keith than he had in the last year.  Shiro had no idea Keith had lived in a foster home or went to juvie.  It sounded like he had his fair share of fights, too.  He found that he wanted to know more about him, but at the same time felt a little sheepish - he wasn’t so sure Keith would be telling him these things if it weren’t for the inebriation.  He caught himself hoping that Keith wouldn’t regret it tomorrow.

Shiro couldn’t help the short burst of incredulous laughter that shook out of him, and he pressed the back of his hand against his mouth.  What are you supposed to do when someone compares you to a greek god?  He could only imagine how red his face was.  He shook his head, giving a small wave of his hand. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I promise,” he said through another chuckle.  He looked up to meet Keith’s eyes, hoping the gesture would back his promise, and gave him a warm smile.  “I just… never knew you saw me that way, is all.”  _Don’t you do it._  But he did it anyway, and god knows why, “It’s very flattering coming from the guy who can look that good in a leather jacket.”

Before Shiro could even begin to reflect, the waiter dropped by with the check.

* * *

Keith hadn’t protested when Shiro offered to drive him home and then back to his bike in the morning before his shift started.  The car ride was mostly silent, beside his passenger mumbling directions to his house.  When he pulled up front, the clock on his dashboard read 11:23 PM.  Somehow, he didn’t feel very tired at the moment. 

Shiro killed the engine and climbed out of the car, making his way around it and opening the door for Keith.  He held out his hand for him to take.  “I can walk you up to your door, if you want,” he offered with a small smile.

 

 


	3. PART 3

**sheithfromvoltron:**

“Yeah… yeah, that’d be good.” He took the offered hand, smiling at the way there hands fit together. But it didn’t last long. One second he was stepping out of the car and the next he was falling; grabbing desperately for Shiro after tripping over the curb. Hands grabbed him before he even made it half way to the ground.

“Sorry, Takashi.” Immediately Keith’s eyebrows knit together.  _That wasn’t his name… was it?_  “Takashi…” he tested the name out again, he liked it, but knew that wasn’t what the man he was now clinging to the waist of was called. “Shiro… Shiro!”  _There it was._  “Sorry, Shiro.” Keith did his best to right himself, but still unknowingly had his hands wrapped around Shiro’s arm.

“Third floor. Lance is probably still awake, but we’ll… we’ll be quiet.”

* * *

The sun was obnoxiously bright and the pounding in his head made the room spin and the light scream.  _Coffee._ He needed coffee; hated it, but needed it right now. Standing was a task all on its own and Keith couldn’t help the groan he loosed discovering he was still in yesterday’s clothes. He had half a mind to just go to work like this, but he more than coffee he needed a shower. 

Twenty minutes later he was clean, dressed, and hidden behind a pair of dark Ray Bans. He leaned over the counter, head in his hands, trying to drown out the sound of Lance’s intergalactic-space-lion- _whatever_  game on the tv. He didn’t bother acknowledging his roommate; it was too early and he was too hungover for the smirk Lance had playing on his lips.

“What?” it was more of a growl than a question when he finally gave in.

“Nothing—”

“So I hear you had a hot date,” Matt cut in, not looking away from the game as he continued shooting at the pixelated aliens.

“It wasn’t a date, Matthew!” He spit the other surgeon’s name like it had a bad taste. “Why are you even here anyway?” They were friends, Matt a year or two older, already a resident at Altea Clinic and had an apartment of his own. But somehow still managed to spend most of his time here, usually with Keith, but lately more with Lance destroying fake aliens and the like.

“Day off, new Voltron game. Gotta kick Lance’s ass.”

“Hey,” Lance’s hands shot up defensively knowing he was in trouble, “It’s not my fault you come home drunk off your ass with Doctor Stud-gane all but carrying you to your room and tucking you in.”

“He  _what_?” Keith didn’t remember that.  _Oh. Oh no._   _Shit!_  Keith could feel the heat burning a red blush on every inch above his shoulders. Flashes of the previous night flooded closed eyes.  _Stumbling. Telling Shiro he smelled nice. Pushing Lance away when he tried to take Keith off Shiro’s hands. Falling into his bed._   _Shiro being the perfect gentlemen and not calling his drink ass out._ He was going to die the second he saw Shiro at work today…

“Lance… how am I getting to work if you both have the day off?” That same annoying smirk from earlier was his only response.

 

**OperationFCC:**

Shiro parked in one of the guest spaces nearest to Keith’s building but didn’t shut the engine off right away.  His hands remained on the steering wheel, like he wasn’t quite ready to get out of his car yet.  He couldn’t stop thinking about last night, even though nothing really happened.  To him, that was the most frustrating part about it.   _Nothing happened_ , and yet his mind seemed completely occupied by one thing.  One person.

Keith said his name - a name Shiro had abandoned a long time ago because he wasn’t that man anymore.  He  _couldn’t_ be that man anymore.  But damn it, he liked the way it sounded when Keith said it.

Shiro rubbed a hand against his forehead.  Nothing happened.  He had helped Keith up three flights of stairs, the younger man all the while clinging to him, arm around his waist, Shiro’s around his.  He remembered the blush that overcame his features when Keith’s hand had accidentally slipped slightly into his shirt.  Keith hadn’t seemed to noticed, so thank goodness for that. 

And good god,  _what_ had Shiro said to him?  He couldn’t bare to dredge up the exact words he used to compliment Keith in his leather jacket.  At least Keith had an excuse; Shiro had been stone-cold sober when he revealed how attractive he thought his colleague was.  His intern.   

He groaned, letting his head fall back against the seat.  He could only hope that Keith had forgotten about it.

Without another thought, he shut off the engine, got out of his car, and headed up to the apartment.  

* * *

Shiro knocked, and within a matter of seconds, the door flung open with Lance McClain on the other side of the threshold, a wide grin plastered on his face.  “G’morning, Dr. Shirogane,” he greeted cheerfully.  Too cheerfully. 

He managed a smile in return, breathing out a short chuckle.  “Good morning, Lance.”

Suddenly, Matt nudged into view and stood shoulder-to-shoulder next to the intern, smirking his little ass off.  Horrified, Shiro couldn’t help but glance away, groaning out a quiet, “Oh, crap.”

“Indeed,” Matt prodded, folding his arms across his chest in faux-disappointment, his tongue clicking as he shook his head.  “Shiro, dating an intern?  That’s very Grey’s Anatomy of you.”

Lance whirled around and ambled back to the couch, his hands in the air like he was declaring himself innocent of the exchange that was taking place.  Best not to go around trying to embarrass the attending that decided whether or not you could scrub in on the good surgeries.

Shiro could feel the blush rising in his face, but he certainly wasn’t going to give Matt anymore satisfaction.  Instead, he gave him his best smile and said, “It wasn’t a date.  Keith was just being kind and bought me dinner.  Speaking of which.”  

He glanced over Matt’s shoulder to see Keith in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and wearing a pair of sunglasses.  He felt that same tightness in his chest that was there the night before, but he ignored it.  Or tried to.  “Hey, Keith.  Ready to go?”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Keith hadn’t separated the knock on the door from Matt’s game, not until both he and Lance were crowded in the doorway. He couldn’t bare to look, a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach told him who it was even before he heard Shiro’s voice.

   _‘Hey, Keith. Ready to go?’_

He cast a glance at the coffee that was just starting to brew and then another at Lance, who was barely containing his grin. _Not worth the wait._

“Yeah,” he mumbled, grabbing his jacket and making a point to knock against Matt as he pushed past to leave. Something tugged in his chest when threw his jacket on, tugging the collar to get it sitting right. Shiro had said something about his jacket… but Keith couldn’t pull the words to mind. _Did he say something bad? That it was unprofessional?_  No, that didn’t sound right; it really didn’t seem like Shiro to cast an insult like that.

Deciding to shrug off the feeling, he slid into the passenger side of Shiro’s Elantra, settling a little too easily into the leather seat. He’d barely looked Shiro’s direction the entire way to the car, afraid to see any sign of his thoughts on last night’s behavior. “I’m… I’m really sorry about them, by the way.” Keith laced his fingers together, trying to find the right words but ultimately just blurting, “Lance is just an idiot sometimes and Matt… well you’ve known him longer than me so you how he is…”

Knowing that wasn’t the only apology needed, he loosed a shaky sigh and added, “And, um, I’m even more sorry about last night. I hardly ever drink and when I do, it’s never more than two. It’ll never happen again. Not that I want to go out again!”  _Fuck!_  “Not that I think it was a date! I just… You… You can just let me out here. I’ll walk.” He pulled on the handle, which of course was locked, but the combination of embarrassment and a pounding head had him panicking.

Giving up and feeling trapped, Keith dropped his hand in his lap, but couldn’t sit still. Scrubbing at his face for a second, “I’m such an idiot! You do something nice for me and I fuck things up by getting drunk and saying shit I don’t even remember, but I know one of the things must have been how much I like you and honestly I don’t know why you still came and got me or didn’t kick me out of the program on the spot. Seriously, Takashi, can you just let me out?! I’m dying here!”

 

**OperationFCC:**

Shiro imagined it would be a little awkward, but Keith was  _radiating_ discomfort.

Just as he was about to ask him how he was feeling - a genuine question but also something to break the strained silence - he spoke up and apologized for Lance and Matt’s behavior.  Shiro let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head.   “You don’t have to apologize for Matt.  We’ve been friends for awhile, so naturally, he would be a little punk about this.  And McClain is… well, McClain.”

Keith apparently wasn’t finished, apologizing for the events of last night as well.  A pang of dejection hit Shiro in the chest when Keith said he didn’t want to go out again, but he immediately shrugged the feeling away.  He tried to, at least.  Did he even  _want_ to go out with him again?  Well… maybe.  

Okay, yes.  He did.  Damn it.

 _Get real… it wasn’t even a date.  Keith certainly doesn’t think it was.  Just look at him.  He regrets the whole thing.  All that stuff he said… That was the drink talking._  He managed to hide the inner turmoil behind his smile, though now it was a little forced.  He breathed out a curt chuckle when Keith tried to get out of the car.  “Keith, really, it’s fin–”

He was cut off when the younger man’s apologies turned into more of a diatribe against himself.  The words just seemed to spill out of him, and when he was finished, Shiro could only imagine how dumbfounded he looked.  Keith used his name again.  And… he liked Shiro.  Jeez, his heart had skipped a beat at that.

“You like me?” he asked before he could stop himself.

What a weird morning this was turning out to be.

There was a brief pause where neither of them spoke, and Shiro muttered a decisive “alright” as he turned at the light and parked in the nearest lot.   

He turned off the car and leaned back in his seat, keeping one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear shift.  Mostly because he didn’t really know what to do with his hands.  He wasn’t really sure what to do at all right now, but words were coming up from his chest and into his throat, and he didn’t know whether or not to stop them.

_Take a chance._

“Look, Keith,” he started, turning his head to look at him now, meeting his eyes.  A warm smile turned up the corner of his lips as he decided for the first time in a very long time to just… be honest.  With himself.  With  _somebody_.  And he was glad it was Keith.  

“I’d never kick you out of the program, first of all,” he started, a nervous jitter rippling through his entire frame.  “You’re an exceedingly talented surgeon and a compassionate person, and… I like you.”

His face was burning as he cast his eyes downward and scratched at the back of his head, a breathy, incredulous laugh escaping him.  Oh, boy… He actually said it.  Shiro inhaled deeply through his nose, breathing out briskly through his mouth, before turning to look at Keith again and giving him a reassuring smile.  “You don’t have to apologize for last night.  I’m glad you asked me to dinner, and… I hope you don’t mean it when you say you don’t want to go out again.”

Not wanting to make Keith any more uncomfortable than he already was, Shiro added, “And, listen… if you don’t actually want anything to come of this, that’s fine too.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

_    ‘Alright’ _

Keith didn’t understand.  _‘Alright’ what?_  When Shiro stopped the car, he recalled himself begging to be let out.

Fingers brushed against the handle of the still locked door; he didn’t really want to get out now, but clearly Shiro wanted him gone, so he’d oblige. After last night he owed the man that much. But his own name pulled his attention back to the other side of the car and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking those five letters had never sounded better than when Shiro strung them together.

The words that followed took a while to sink in and when they finally did, Keith felt like they’d forever be etched on the walls of his mind. But as he was marveling at them, a quiet voice creeped in, judging the words and labeling them false.

 _There was no reason that Shiro should like him._  If asked to list three good things about himself, Keith could barely name one. He’d always sold himself short, he knew that, but he also knew if anyone were to run the math on him and Dr. Takashi Shirogane their sums would be worlds apart. After all the letters ‘u’ and ‘i’ are separate for a reason.

Keith had a million metaphors and explanations for why Shiro could never like him, but the idea of calling the man beside him a liar would never get the chance to pass his lips. “You said you like my jacket… that you like  _me_  in my jacket…” Those weren’t his exact words, but pieces of last night were finally fitting into the puzzle he had framed out this morning. “You meant it… you still mean it.”

 _Why?_  was the question on his tongue.  _Are you sure?_  was also kept inside his cage of gritted teeth. Keith’s head was spinning. His ears were ringing. His eyes felt like they were pulsing. He was gonna be sick.

Turning away, he clawed at the lock on the door. Not sure if he actually unlocked it or if Shiro had took pity and pressed the button, either way he was finally able to shove the door open and stumble out of the car. He just needed some air. 

 _Deep breath._  He was fine. This was  _fine_. What was he freaking out about? So the man he aspired to be half as talented as  _liked him_. So the literal most handsome man he’d ever laid eyes on  _liked him_. That was  _fine_. Hell, that was more than fine.

Keith had been walking away before he even realized what he was doing. He didn’t go far though, after deciding it was all  _fine_ , he spun on his heel and stalked back to the car where Shiro was now standing by his door.

He shoved his sunglasses up, cringing at the daylight, but not hesitating to meet Shiro’s eyes as even with the glasses on it had seemed Shiro could see straight to his soul. Maybe he was still a little drunk or maybe he was just sick of pretending Shiro wasn’t everything he never dreamed he could have, but what ever the reason he decided just to go for it. “I want to go on a date with you.” He said it a little too loud and much too blunt, but it was in the air now and in need of company. “I don’t know what or how much I told you yesterday, but the fact is: you’re perfect and I’m not… and if you’re being honest right now, I’d really like to show you that I’m better than last night.”

 

**OperationFCC:**

When Keith scrambled out of the car, it was hard for Shiro not to regret what he said.  He let his head fall back against the headrest and closed his eyes, breathing in deep as he carefully thought of what he would say to reassure Keith that there was no pressure here.  Nothing had to happen between them if he didn’t want it to. 

_And he did remember what I said about his jacket…  Great.._

With a sigh, he stepped out of the car, standing outside of the open door as he watched Keith walk away.  “Keith,” he started, but he cut himself off when the younger man suddenly whirled around, making his way back over to Shiro.

He blinked, feeling a little taken aback when Keith stopped right in front of him and pushed up his sunglasses. For what felt like the first time, Shiro got a really good look at his eyes - a beautiful amethyst-grey, intense, even in his seemingly anxious state.

They took his breath away.

Shiro felt himself straighten up a little when Keith told him that he did want to go out on a date.  He didn’t try to stop that stupid grin from spreading across his face this time.  No uncertainty, no assumptions, no guessing.  They liked each other, and they were giving… whatever this was a try.  

He rubbed at the back of his neck and glanced away, a nervous laugh escaping him when Keith called him “perfect.”  He couldn’t have been farther from the truth - Shiro knew that all too well, and something deep inside of his chest told him to cut this off now.   _Right now_.  If Keith was going into this thinking Shiro was perfect, he was only going to be met with a harsh and unforgiving reality.  

But another voice eased across his mind, urging him to give it a chance.   _This could become something really great._

“I don’t know about ‘perfect,’” he began, meeting Keith’s eyes again, his inner struggles not diminishing his smile, “and, really, I don’t think any less of you for what happened last night.  That was nothing.”   _No, really.  That was nothing._   “But I… I am looking forward to getting to know you, Keith.”

Shiro caught a glimpse of his watch, hissing inwardly but giving a quiet laugh right afterward.  “Ahh, we better get going.  We’re kind of already late.  C’mon, I’ll drive you the rest of the way.” He turned from him then, starting to get back into the car but stopped, a thought occurring to him.  

Huffing out a sigh, he threw Keith a small smile.  “Those two are going to give us so much shit, aren’t they?”

 


	4. PART 4

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Monday morning Keith decides he’s just going to ask. He didn’t think that Shiro was avoiding him, they exchanged smiles and ‘hey’s when they passed each other, but other than that they’d barely spoken since Thursday.

Yanking off his helmet, Keith glances around the parking lot. He’s earlier than usual, mainly because it’ll take him a few minutes to calm down and talk himself into approaching Shiro before shift. But when a familiar black Hyundai drives in he can’t help the grin as he brushes his bangs out of his eyes.

 _Takashi_. He’s mid-wave when the name pops into his head and he doesn’t understand why he keeps associating it with Shiro. 

He thinks it was something Matt let slip and somehow got stored in the back of his mind, forgotten until whiskey washed it up on the forefront of his mind. It definitely wasn’t Shiro as Keith remembered clearly the day they’d been introduced and how much he’d liked the way  _‘I’m Dr. Shirogane, but you can call me Shiro’_  had sounded.

The chill that run down his spine at the memory was proof of how much he’d been denying his feelings until a few days ago. Shaking his head, he swung his leg over his bike and [attempted to] casually walk over to Shiro’s car.

He stood on the passenger side opposite Shiro. The car providing a barrier that felt similar to when they worked on surgeries together ( _that_  he was more familiar with though) and somehow that made things easier; boosting his confidence enough that he could ask.

“I’ve been waiting for you to officially ask me out and so far you’ve disappointed.” Keith smiled a little more, crossing his arms on the Elantra’s roof and resting his chin on top of them. “I’m free tomorrow night, if you’re still thinking you want that date?”

 

**OperationFCC:**

Shiro had a rough night, and it was his turn to hide his bloodshot, sleep-deprived eyes behind a pair of sunglasses.  Another terrible nightmare had jarred him awake just after 3 AM, and sleep had eluded him since.  He was relieved to know that he wasn’t officially scheduled for any surgeries today and could probably catch an hour of shut-eye in the on-call room.

He pulled into the parking lot and immediately spotted Keith on his bike.  Man, that was one attractive picture.  It really was unfair how well Keith pulled off that look, and without even trying.  Not that he would ever try to imitate him; he was content with just being a regular spectator.  

Shiro stepped out of his car just as Keith was approaching, grinning before he even realized it.  

A quiet laugh escaped him, his smile turning a little sheepish as Keith expressed his disappointment in Shiro’s lack of initiative.  He did feel a little guilty for not asking him yet, as much as he was looking forward to seeing Keith outside of work again.  The truth was, Shiro hadn’t gone on a real date in more than a year and was pretty rusty on the process.  Not to mention, the last date he went on was a regrettable and blurry mess of a night spent at some dance club.  

Shiro watched as Keith rested his chin on  his arms that he had folded atop the car.  There was something endearing about it, like Keith was a little more comfortable being around him than he’d been before, and Shiro liked that - liked  _him_.  If he was still being honest with himself, he probably liked Keith for longer than he realized.

He closed his door and walked around the car so they could talk face to face.  “Of course I still want that date,” he told him, wishing he could actually look him in the eyes but thought it best to keep the sunglasses on.  “I was going to ask you, really, I just… wanted some time to think of something special.”  His shades unfortunately weren’t going to help conceal the light blush that colored his cheeks.

Shiro beamed at him when he mentioned tomorrow night.  “That’s actually perfect.  I mean.. If you’re up for it.  There’s this local indie band that I like - Beta Traz?  They’re going to be playing at that venue on 5th Ave.  It’s a small place, shouldn’t be too crowded or too loud.  I just… thought that it would be nice.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

When Shiro walked over, Keith realized maybe it wasn’t having a barrier between them that made talking easier. Maybe it’s that there is  _not_  a barrier anymore; that neither of them were hiding their feelings anymore. He liked Shiro and Shiro liked him, simple really.

Adjusting so that only one arm was on the car and he could face Shiro, Keith propped his head up in his hand and leaned on his elbow, his hip jutting just slightly to the side. Raising an eyebrow and letting himself smirk, “Dr. Shirogane, you are quite the puzzle. I would never have pegged you as an Indie man.”

Keith ran a hand through his hair, brushing it back once before deciding just to tie it up. He straightened, using his fingers to comb the dark locks back and hummed a little as if thinking. “And yes, that should be nice. Do you wanna pick me up tomorrow before shift, so we can just take your car?” He grinned through his blush, swiping at the couple strands of bangs that weren’t long enough to tie back. “I’m assuming you’d rather not ride on the back of my bike?” 

Shrugging, and trying  _very_  hard not to picture Shiro pressed tight behind him, arms around his waist going ninety on an abandoned road in the middle of the night, he added “but whatever you want to do works for me.”

* * *

It was a slow day, which left Keith a lot of time to think about tomorrow. But as noon approached those thoughts faded and his mind couldn’t stop thinking about Ethan.

Keith knew he wasn’t supposed to get so invested in a single patient, but Ethan’s case was striking a little too close to home. Though in his own case it had been a couple of foster parent’s that dealt his bruises.

12:15 PM. Ethan and his father still haven’t arrived.

12:30 PM. “His name’s Ethan, it’ll be under his father. Last name: Czar. First name: Connor?” He checked with the front desk, to see if maybe he’d checked in and been skipped over. He had not.

“Can you give him a call and remind him of the appointment?”

The woman behind the counter sighed like it was too much effort or not her job, but picked up the phone anyway. No answer.

12:45 PM. Keith decided to try and find Shiro to ask what he should do. Just as he stops the surgeon a nurse hurries up to his side.

“You’re twelve o’clock is here,” she points a finger down the hall.

Sure enough there’s Ethan, puffy cheeks like he’d been crying and his father walking behind him with his arms crossed. As another nurse leads the boy and his father into one of the rooms, Keith notices the odd way Ethan droops his arm and the dark bruising that peaks out of the collar of his shirt and knows it stretches further down underneath.  _Shit_.

“Did you see it?” He turns to Shiro with his hands balled into fists. “You have to come with me. I’ll kill him if that’s what I think it is.”

 

**OperationFCC:**

Shiro was glad to find that their conversation flowed much easier now, and it helped that Keith definitely did seem more at ease around him, too.  He wasn’t so sure - in fact, he very much doubted - that all of his own defenses that he’d spent the last five months building had completely diminished, but Shiro was at the very least more relaxed around Keith.  

It was a good start.

Shiro raised an eyebrow at the younger man’s mention of him riding on the back of his motorcycle.  He had never ridden on one before, but that certainly wasn’t the reason why he was considering it now.  He threw a brief glance over at the sleek bike before looking back at Keith, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips.  “Now why would you assume that?”

* * *

Shiro felt a little more rested when he emerged from the on-call room.  Allura seemed to have noticed his exhausted state and was keeping him off of the board today, as much as she could help it.  Even though she was well aware of and completely sympathetic to his situation, he felt guilty for how much she had to accommodate for him sometimes.

It was a slow day, and in a hospital, that generally meant a good day.  That is, until Keith approached him, deep concern etched into his face, but before he could get a word out, a nurse interrupted him.  Shiro knew who she was referring to even before Ethan and his father walked in.

He watched as they were escorted into one of the examination rooms, narrowing his eyes into a glare as they lingered on Ethan’s collarbone.  Broken.   _That motherfucker_.  Shiro shook his head, setting his clipboard down on the counter a little harder than he intended.  To make up for it, he spoke as evenly as he could, “I saw it.  And it  _is_ what you think it is.”

Shiro took long, deliberate strides down the hallway, Keith by his side, and before he entered the room, he put on his most cordial mask.  Giving Ethan and Connor a smile he didn’t feel, he greeted them, “Good afternoon.  I’m Dr. Shirogane.  Ethan, I understand Dr. Kogane is going to be putting a cast on that arm for you today?”

Ethan, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, sniffled, his gaze averted to the ground.  “Y-Yes, Dr. Shi-shiro-ga-”

“You can just call me Shiro, Ethan,” he offered gently.  He gave the child a small tilt of his head. “Are you feeling alright toda–”

“Ethan?”

Shiro glanced over his shoulder at the small, frightened voice.  Another boy, about six years old, tottered into the room, his face wet with tears.  When he spotted Ethan, he rushed over to him and clung to one of his legs that hung off of the bed.  “Ethan!” the boy cried.  “Are you okay now?  Ethan?”

Shiro bristled, seeing the panicked look in Ethan’s eyes.  The similarities in their features were undeniable.  That boy was Ethan’s little brother.

“Logan, I’m okay,” he urged as he gingerly tried to pry the smaller boy off of him with his good arm.  “Go back to the car.” 

Connor moved across the room and clasped a hand on Logan’s shoulder, a hint of aggravation in his voice when he said,  “Leave your brother alone.  He’s getting fixed up now, alright?  C’mon.”  With a bit of effort, he was able to separate his two sons and carry Logan out of the room.

Shiro threw Keith a hard look, nodding his head toward Ethan.  He picked up the phone that was on the counter and dialed Allura’s extension to her office.  She needed to be aware of the situation, and she would be the first to know if they could get Ethan to admit to his father’s abuse.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

“Hey, kiddo,” Keith smiled, kneeling down in front of Ethan. “That must have been your brother? He seemed really worried about you.”

“Hi, Dr. Keith. Yeah, Logan.” Wiping at his nose, Ethan attempted to smile back but winced likely from the way it pulled at the muscles on his neck.

“What color cast are we thinking this time? Green again?”

“No, I want red.”

“Good choice, that’s actually my favorite color.” He gave the boy an encouraging smile, “How about we get this off of you, hmm?” He motioned to the sling and Ethan whispered a quiet, ‘yeah.’ “Alright,” Keith stood and reached around the boy loosening the strap that held the his arm up. This close Keith could get a better look at the new injury and even under Ethan’s baggy shirt he could see a lump where the break was and his blood was pooling.

“So what happened to your shoulder?” Keith tried to sound casual, as he noticed Ethan’s eyes darted to the left where his father had been standing. “Did it come from the same thing that bruised Logan’s cheek?”

“Yeah… Wait, no… I don’t know…” he frowned. “He didn’t mean it! It was an accident!”

Keith’s stomach knotted up, “Who didn’t mean it?”

“Logan… It was an accident! He knocked over dad’s trophy and the guy on top came off and… and it was an accident! I promise!”

“How did he get the bruise though? Did it fall on him?” 

“No,” again he glanced to his left.

“You can talk to me, Ethan. I’m not going to tell anyone.” He watched Ethan eye Shiro. “Dr. Shiro isn’t going to either. We are very good with secrets. I promise.” Keith hated lying to the boy, but if this was going to work Ethan needed to trust them.

“Dad got real mad. I didn’t want him hurt.”

“Ethan, how did Logan get his bruise?”

“I tried to stop him! I did! I did! I tried! I said it was me!” Keith didn’t get a chance to speak because Ethan was yelling and looking liking he was trying not to cry. “He never hurt him before! Logan is good! I’m bad! I’m the bad one!” The boys tears were falling freely now. “He was gonna hit him! I said it was me! I’m the bad one! Me!”

“Hey, hey, you’re not bad. Why would you say that?”

“No! I am! I am! Logan’s good! Don’t tell. Please, Dr. Keith! Don’t tell!”

“Ethan, did your dad hurt you?”

“No!” The boy’s eyes widened, realizing he was trapped. “No! No! He didn’t! I fell! My bike. I fell.”

“Were you protecting Logan?” Keith kept pushing.

“Ye—No! I fell!”

“You fell?” Keith pursed his lips. “Ethan with your shoulder hurt like that you’re not going to be able to stop Logan from getting hurt again.” The boy whimpered at that. “Tell me what really happened, I can help. I can make it so Logan won’t get hurt.”

“You promise?”

 

**OperationFCC:**

Shiro hung up the phone, having given Allura the rundown of the situation.  He turned around and leaned back against the counter, folding his arms across his chest as he watched the scene unfold before him.  His heart dropped heavy into his stomach at how terrified Ethan was and swearing up and down the he was “the bad one.”  How could someone do this to a child?  

Keith seemed to be reaching him, much to Shiro’s relief, but their job wasn’t over yet.  He pushed off of the counter to join them, but left a good amount of space between himself and the boy so he didn’t feel crowded or intimidated. 

Shiro followed Keith’s lead and knelt down on the floor so Ethan didn’t have to strain his collarbone to look up at him.  He gave him an encouraging nod, speaking as gently as he could, “We promise, Ethan.  I know you’re supposed to keep it a secret, but the best thing you can do for Logan is tell us what happened.  And then we can help you protect him.  I promise.  Okay?”

Ethan nodded shakily, a small hiccup escaping him, aiming his gaze at the ground now. “D-Dad gets… gets real mad a lot…  and.. it’s because I’m bad!  If I wasn’t bad, he wouldn’t!”

Shiro shook his head, hushing him softly. “Shhh, hey, it’s okay, kiddo.  You are not bad. Dr. Keith and I know that you aren’t.  Does your dad tell you that you’re a bad kid?”

He didn’t respond right away, and Shiro threw Keith a wary glance.  He was beginning to think that they were going to fail, until Ethan gave them another nod.

Shiro heard a quiet rustle behind them and he looked over his shoulder to see Allura in the doorway, looking slightly stunned, her eyes darting in between each occupant of the room.  Ethan hadn’t seen her yet, so Shiro took this opportunity to press his index finger against his lips before waving his hand at her, signaling her to stay quiet and out of Ethan’s line of sight.  She obliged.

“Can you tell us what happened today, kiddo?” Shiro urged when he turned his attention back to Ethan.  He felt guilty for pressuring the boy, but he knew it was the only way.  “For Logan?”

“I-I told Dad that… I b-broke the trophy,” he started, his sentences broken into pieces by tiny sobs.  “And D-Dad… he..  he… he hit with me with it.”

_There._

A bittersweet relief washed over him.  Shiro took no joy from any of this being true, but at least they could finally get Ethan and his brother away from that son of a bitch.   “Does he do that a lot?  Hit you?”

After a long pause, the boy whimpered out a quiet, “Y-Yes… but it’s just because he gets mad when I’m bad!

With a small sigh, Shiro looked over his shoulder again to see Allura giving him a curt nod before walking away.  He overheard her at the nurse’s station right across the hall, telling them to call security.  “Connor Czar does not leave this hospital,” she ordered.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

_‘Ethan, kiddo, you are not bad. I promise. You. are. not bad.’_  That’s what Keith wanted to say, but he was terrified that his voice would tremble and give him away. He took a second to get a handle on himself, clearing his throat and letting his eyes flick momentarily up at the ceiling. But it was a temporary fix.

“Ethan,” Keith let out a breath, knowing he only had a handful of words in him before he’d break, “I need to get the red plaster wrap, okay? Dr. Shiro will take care of you until I get back.” Trying not to look at Shiro, Keith stood up, but when he was trying to stifle a ragid breath his eyes met the surgeon’s and he knew the wet shimmer in his eyes was a dead giveaway. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

The second he was out of sight of the room, Keith’s shoulders drooped and he wiped pointlessly at his eyes.  _This is stupid. He shouldn’t be upset. Connor couldn’t hurt Ethan anymore._  But still his eyes burned with tears he still refused to let fall.  _Get a grip, Kogane!_  he scolded himself, but that just made him feel worse and he groaned, letting himself slide down the wall he didn’t know he was leaning on.

His chest ached and long healed breaks and bruises seemed to throb making him feel weak and helpless like he had as a child.  _This is stupid. You’re stupid._  His own internal voice morphing into ghosts of ones he had fought so hard to forget. 

Shaking and feeling pathetic, he didn’t know how long it had been when he happened to glance up and see Allura. “Chief!” Keith was on his feet faster than he should have been able to. “Allura,” the name falling out without title, but he didn’t bother correcting himself, “Connor? Is he? Did security—”

“Yes, it has been handled, Dr. Kogane. Child Services will be here for the boy by the time he’s done here.”

“And Logan?”

“Who’s Logan?” she quirked an eyebrow, “I thought the boy’s name was Ethan.”

“No, it’s… it’s his brother— he wasn’t with Connor?”

“No—” Keith spun away before she could ask any further questions. “Dr. Kogane! Keith! Where are you…” but he didn’t hear her after that, already rushing down the hall (some how remembering to avoid Ethan’s room so the boy wouldn’t see him like this) and out the front door. He stopped standing in the crossing walk of the parking lot, realizing he had no clue where to even start looking.

Shaking his head as he slowly came to his senses and realized how unprofessional he was being, Keith started pacing the isles. Thankfully (or really  _not_  so thankfully) the windows of the Czar’s car must have been rolled down because he could hear something that sounded like whimpering. Following the noise two rows over, he came across Logan leaning against the door on the inside of a sleek black Focus.

“Logan?” Keith asked hesitantly.

“Ethan!” the voice hiccuped and was followed by a small pale face with wispy white hair peering out the window.

“Um, no, it’s Dr. Keith? I’m Ethan’s doctor.”

“Oh,” the boy sat back down, crossing his little arms with a sniffle.

“Do you want me to bring you back to your brother?” Keith swallowed another bought of anger, seeing the beginnings of bruises on the boy’s arm where his father had held too tightly.

He perked up, then shook his head poking at his own arm, “Dad says no.”

“It’s okay, Logan. He said I could bring you back in.”

“Oh,” he repeated, then proceeded to climb into the front seat, unlocked the door for himself, crawled out, and held his arms up expectantly. Keith picked him up, carrying the boy back into Altea and waved down Allura.

“Logan, this is Allura. Allura, this is  _Ethan’s_  brother Logan. Maybe we could have one of the other doctors, like maybe Dr. Garrett, show him all the cool hospital stuff while I finish fixing his brother… how does that sound?” speaking to Logan now, who nodded.

 

**OperationFCC:**

Allura smiled at the boy, holding out her arms to gently take him from Keith.  “Hi there, Logan,” she greeted him cheerfully, though she felt anything but.  She adjusted him in her arms so he could sit comfortably against her.  “Ethan should be finished up very soon.  Are you excited to see him?”

Logan wiped at his eyes but gave a small smile as he nodded his answer.

“He’ll be excited to see you too, sweetheart,” she told him.  “For now, we’re going to go see one of our favorite doctors here at the hospital.  Dr. Hunk.”

“Dr. Hunk?” Logan said through a giggle.  “That’s a funny name.”

She laughed with him but felt a bitter twist in her stomach.  This sweet boy and his brother having to live with that monster, having to suffer through his abuse.  It was a precious victory that Logan could still laugh like this.  “Yes, it is funny, isn’t it?  Come on.  You’re going to see lots of cool hospital stuff.”

Allura gave Keith a terse nod before heading to the clinic.

* * *

“All done, Ethan,” Shiro said with a small smile, having finished up with the boy’s cast when Keith returned with the materials.  “Now, we just have to take care of one more thing, bud.”  He waved a nurse into the room and asked her to escort Ethan to the Orthopedic wing.  One of the specialists there would have the expertise to fix his collar bone.  “Ethan, you’re going to need to go with this nurse for a little while.  We’ll be here when you come back.  Logan will be here, too.”

_And Child Services…_

Ethan gave Shiro and Keith a small nod before sitting himself in a wheelchair that the nurse had brought in.  “Logan’s okay?” he asked them, his voice sounding both hopeful and uncertain.

Shiro nodded, keeping the smile on his face for Ethan’s sake.  “We promised, didn’t we?”

The boy looked relieved as the nurse rolled him out of the room.

As soon as he and Keith were alone, Shiro’s shoulders slumped and he sat against the bed, rubbing his hand across his eyes.  The last couple of hours had been emotionally taxing, and it wasn’t quite over yet.  They were finally able to get that bastard Connor arrested and away from the boys, but they would also have to watch CPS drive them away and inevitably drop them off at some foster home.  

He raised his head as realization dawned on him.  The image of Keith’s eyes glossed with tears as he all but fled the room streaked across his mind. 

“Keith?” Shiro said finally, casting a worried glance at the intern.  “Are you okay?”

He straightened up then and moved across the room to stand beside him.  “Listen, Keith, I…  I don’t know if you meant to tell me any of this the other night, but… I know this must have been hard for you.  I’m sorry if any of this brought back any… ghosts.”

 _Ghosts_.  That was what everyone at the AA meetings liked to call awful memories that they’d rather not think about.

Shiro shook his head, rubbing at the back of his neck as he turned away from him.   _You idiot_.  “I’m so sorry; that wasn’t my place. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

 


	5. PART 5

**sheithfromvoltron:**

_Ghosts? Yeah, that was a good name for them._ For the ‘people’ that haunt his childhood memories, for the voice he hears when he makes even a small mistake, for the ache in his bones from injuries like Ethan’s.  _Yeah, you could say it brought back some ghosts._

“What do you think, Shiro?” Keith hissed before he could think better of it. He still wasn’t sure of what all he’d told Shiro that night, but it was abundantly clear now that it was more than he had thought. _How could Shiro still want to go out with him?_ He wasn’t good enough for Shiro to even consider and apparently he knows that…  _so why was he?_

Dropping into the chair in the corner of the room, Keith carefully traced his ribs overtop of his shirt, feeling for injuries that were no longer there. “It’s not really something I talk about… best to keep the past in the past, y’know?” He was silent for a minute, arguing with himself on whether or not he should continue.

Slouching further down in his chair, his mind rendered a perfect image of the surgeon’s eyes filled with repulsion at what a mess the supposed top intern was turning out to be.  _How could he ever meet Shiro’s gaze again?_

“It’s just Ethan…” Keith’s voice was weaker than he’d hoped, “he’s about the same age I was when I first got placed and Connor” the name tasted like acid on his tongue, “…well let’s just say I’m  _familiar_ with his type.”

Finally looking up, but still not directly at Shiro, he held back a grimace. “What if we’re sending them somewhere worse? What if—” he stopped himself.  _This was dumb._ “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. It’s not our problem, right? Especially not  _yours_. You’re a cardiac surgeon, the pride of Altea Memorial Hospital, why are you even wasting your time with this?”  _With me?_

Keith stood up so quickly that his head rushed, but he ignored it. Old habits died hard and he had brought himself up on quick anger and striking first, so this outburst was a strange sort of comfort. But now it wasn’t a playground bully or street thugs looking for a fight or a foster-father that was a little to drunk and thought Keith was a little to pretty.

This was someone that didn’t mean him harm, hadn’t done anything to even earn his anger, and Keith didn’t know what to do. So he just stood there with fists clenched staring at the floor. “I should go,” he mumbled, knowing whatever small thing Shiro had liked about him likely held no significance anymore, but still he stood, like he was waiting for something. Like he wanted something or expected a response. 

And maybe he did. Maybe he wanted Shiro to get angry too. So tonight when he’s downs his pills maybe he won’t have to add another thing to the list of shit he’d fucked up.

 

**OperationFCC:**

Shiro’s chest tightened at the steel in Keith’s voice, and he knew for certain that he had made a mistake.  What was he thinking, bringing that up?  Even if it was with good intentions? 

He watched in silence as Keith sat himself down in one of the chairs and revealed a little more about his past, much to Shiro’s surprise.  He must have really seen a lot of himself in Ethan through this whole ordeal.  Removing him and Logan from Connor’s care was a very cold comfort when their next destination was going to be a foster home.   They were older boys, which made their chance of adoption slim.  And even then, the possibility of them landing in a home worse than Connor’s was very real.

Keith expressed the same worry, but dismissed himself, insisting that it wasn’t their problem.   _Especially not yours._   

Indignance flared inside of Shiro’s chest.  He wasn’t upset at Keith for getting angry at him; that was only natural since Shiro was stupid enough to bring up his past.  But something about what he said struck him, and he wasn’t sure what.  He ran a hand through his hair, breathing out a heavy sigh, and he was talking before he could even stop himself, “This wasn’t a waste of time, Keith.  I came into this profession to help people and save lives.  This may not be my area of expertise, but if there was  _anything_ that I could have done for that boy…”

_Which boy?_

His stomach twisted as something wicked picked at the back of his mind, trying to pull his thoughts to a darker place, but he focused on Keith instead.  How he felt about him.  How he didn’t want what was happening now to ruin whatever chance they had for… something.  How he didn’t want him to go.

He shook his head, ignoring the slightly increased pace of his heartbeat, and muttered, “That’s… neither here nor there.”  He wanted to go over to him, but didn’t want to impede his path if he really did want to leave.  Remaining where he was, Shiro went on in a quiet voice, eyes on the floor and arms folded across his chest, “I hope someone kind and loving takes them in.  I really… hope that we did something good today, Keith.  That’s what we do as surgeons - as doctors.  We do what we can and hope we do right by someone.”

The threat had passed, much to his relief, and his heartbeat began to level, the gnawing feeling in the dark corners of his mind having faded away  

Shiro raised his head so he could look Keith in the eyes, even the though the younger man seemed to be doing what he could to avoid his. “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to upset you further.  I don’t want you go.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

“You did do something,” Keith fired back. As quick as he was too shoot himself down, he wouldn’t let Shiro do the same. “ _You_  got Chief Arus involved.  _You_  got Ethan to actually admit it.  _You_ stayed in here with him after I ran out to have a damn breakdown in the hall! You even put his cast on while I just stood to the side like an idiot!” He shook his head and took a step forward, shrinking the cap between them to less than two feet. “You  _did_  do something good today, no matter how this turns out.”

 _‘I don’t want you to go.’_  That had him stalling. Maybe he was reading too much into the simple phrase, but it had him spinning the topic on its axis. “I’m not upset. I- I… just… I don’t know why you like me! I obviously told you a lot of my shit and that should have been more than enough to convince you I’m not worth anyone’s time, let alone  _yours_.”

A knock against the open door made Keith spin, shifting away from Shiro. Allura smiled at them as she walked in, then introduced the man who quietly followed her in. “Dr. Shirogane, Dr. Kogane, this is Mr. Ulaz from Child Services. He’s here to pick up the Czar boys. Dr. Garrett is on his way up with the younger child.”

Keith could feel his throat constricting. Flashes of him being pulled away from his home as father stood on the porch replayed in his mind. Seventeen different foster homes blurred his vision. “ _Logan_. His name… is Logan,” but that’s all he could manage, then throwing a glance at Shiro, sure his eyes we’re screaming  _‘help me.’_

It was irrationally to be acting like this. He  _knew_  that. The logical part of him reminded that this man wasn’t here for him. That it had been  _years_  since he’d been in the system. That this man looked friendly enough. That none of his own social workers had ever been  _that_  bad. But none of this stopped the chill that ran through him or the way his voice was suddenly nonexistent.

“Shiro?” his voice cracked after a second, “I have to go,” he pushed past Allura and the social worker walking out into the wall with no goal in mind but to get away.

 

**OperationFCC:**

Words failed him.  Shiro wasn’t sure how to respond, the conversation having swerved into a completely different direction.  He could only imagine how dumbfounded he looked.  Shiro knew the feeling all too well; would Keith want anything to do with him if or when he found out about all of his baggage?  He had no idea Keith had been feeling the same way or that his baggage still weighed on him so heavily.

His brow furrowed when Keith glanced at him, the distinct look of panic in his eyes.  Shiro knew that look; he still saw it in the mirror more often than he’d like.  Seeing that panic in Keith’s eyes now made his stomach twist.

He cleared his throat as he turned to Mr. Ulaz, forcing a smile and giving him a small nod.  “Thank you, Mr. Ulaz.  We just sent Ethan down to orthopedics.  He’ll be along in about an hour.  His clavicle was badly fractured, so it will take some time.”  As he spoke, he couldn’t help his eyes flickering every now and again to Keith.  His heart dropped when the intern uttered his name and fled the room, and Shiro stammered as he went on,  “The uh… the nurse knows to bring him back to this wing when they’re finished so it’s best to wait here.”

Mr. Ulaz returned the smile - a sad, sympathetic smile that no doubt had been on his face many times before.  “Thank you, Doctor.  I will be in the waiting room just outside.”

He left the room, and Allura cast him a look that was riddled with concern and confusion.  “Is… Is Keith alright?”

“No, he um..  Allura, thank you for… for being with us on this.  It means a lot,” he said sincerely yet hastily, as he teetered on his feet, anxious to go after Keith.  The Chief – great friend that she was – smiled, then nodded her head toward the door, giving her dismissal.

He sighed, a sound of gratitude, as he rushed out of the room.  

Keith hadn’t gone far; he was down the hall, leaning against the wall, and Shiro slowly approached him.  The last thing he wanted to do was startle him.  “Keith, hey.”  His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke, and as gently as he could, he grasped Keith by the crook of his arm.  Shiro hoped to god that he wasn’t crossing a line.  “C’mere.”

Carefully, he led him just a little farther down the hall to one of the on-call rooms.   _Please be empty, please be empty._   When he opened the door, he saw that his wish had been granted, the room occupied only with a few bunk beds and no people.  He closed the door behind and released Keith’s arm, taking a couple of steps back to give him space.

“I’m sorry, I just…” he started quietly, swallowing past the dryness of his mouth.  “I come in here sometimes when I’m… when I feel…”  _a panic attack coming on._    The words were painful lumps in his throat so he tried a different angle.  “…overwhelmed.  It’s usually empty during the day.  It’s quiet, really… really quiet.  Getting away from the noise, the people, the world… it helps me breathe when I feel like I can’t.  I don’t know if it will help you the same way right now but I hope it does.”

He felt embarrassed, stupid.  Fuck, he felt so stupid.  Keith probably thought he was crazy.  “I can leave… or you can leave if this… doesn’t help.  I’m… here for you, Keith.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

_Shiro, I’m fine. Go away. Don’t touch me._ All thoughts that Keith told himself should have been going through his head as Shiro approached and took hold of him, but weren’t. Instead he quietly let himself be lead, trying to kick down the fact that if left alone for a few more seconds he’d probably have let go of the hot tears that still prickled behind his eyes.

Part of him knew this was stupid, knew that he should be keeping a better guard up at work, especially around his mentor, but he couldn’t help it. He’d let himself care too much and it was already eating away at him.

_At this rate, he would never make it in this field._

Keith suddenly felt sluggish and weak, like his whole body had decided to give up and would surely collapse if he stood much longer. Every inch of him was suddenly overtaken by a numbness that also somehow ached of old memories and new worries. His legs shook as he stepped towards one of the bunks, listening to Shiro explain that this was pretty much his safe place. It probably seemed like a dismissal as he walked away to drop onto the bed by the far wall and curled into a ball trying to block his thoughts out by laying and listening to the pattern of Shiro’s voice.

It of course didn’t work. All his self-hatred and doubt and anger at Connor Czar (as well as that Mr. Ulaz) were shaking him to his core and he was ready to scream. But drawing in a deep breath, he noticed something. Curious, he curled his fist into the blanket and pulled it up around him, trying to subtly inhale the faint scent he’d noticed.  _Shiro_. 

Some of the surgeon’s words from a moment ago floated back to Keith.  _‘When I feel overwhelmed…’ ‘It helps me breathe.’_ These phrases making him slowly piece together that maybe Shiro wasn’t as unflappable as the legends made him out to be. And for some awful reason, that made him feel just a bit better.

He could focus now and could hear Shiro speaking about leaving and then about being here for him, making Keith’s throat constrict with some unfamiliar emotion. “Shiro,  _wait_ …” he choked out. “Can… Can you come sit by me for a while? Please, I don’t want to be alone right now.”

New questions swarmed his mind now, distracting him from the present.  _Was this where Shiro had been all morning? How often did he come here? Did it mean something that Shiro’s first reaction to finding him on the verge of a breakdown was to bring him his panic room? What exactly was it that made Altea’s golden boy Hero Shiro need a hideout? And why the Hell did he recognize the intoxicatingly mellow smell of Shiro so easily?_

 

**OperationFCC:**

Shiro’s eyes fell to the floor, feeling resigned as Keith dropped onto one of the beds and curled into himself.  He wasn’t so sure that bringing him here did anything at all to make him feel better, but at the very least, he could have a few moments alone to himself.  

He turned to leave, but just as his fingers wrapped around the door handle, the sound of Keith’s quiet voice halted his retreat.  He glanced over his shoulder, his gaze falling to the back of his head.  Shiro was glad Keith couldn’t see his face, having rolled his eyes at the relief he’d felt from Keith asking him to stay.  

“Yeah, of course,” he said gently as he made his way across the room.  He ducked under the top bunk and settled himself at the end of the bed where there was some room left.  Leaning back against the wall, he bent one leg up and left the other outstretched, resting his arm on his knee.

For little awhile, they sat in silence, Shiro occasionally glancing over at Keith who didn’t move.  He was never the best at consoling others, having spent most of his life after his tour being the one needing to be consoled.  He remembered the first time Matt found him in here, standing in the corner of the room and clinging to the frame of a bunkbed like it was the only thing keeping him from completely spiraling.  He was covered and sweat, shaking from head to toe, and it took Matt a good ten minutes to calm him down.

“It’s going to be okay, Keith,” he said quietly, turning to really look at him now.  “You’ll get through this.  When you told me… about your childhood the other night, things started to make sense.  You took the hand you were dealt, and turned it into something… really great.  I knew from the first moments I started working with you that you were going to succeed here.  The thing with surgery is… it’s easier to people as.. not as people.  To detach yourself.  I see that in a lot of interns already.  But not you.  You still care… fiercely.”

Shiro breathed out a rueful chuckle, shaking his head.  “I’m.. rambling now, I’m sorry.  What I’m getting it is… it takes someone strong to care as much as you do in this line of work, Keith.  And that’s why I know you’ll get through this… and.. well, I’ll shut up now.  Think you’ve heard me drone on long enough,” he finished with a quiet, humorless laugh, running a hand through his hair.


	6. Chapter 6

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Keith sat up at Shiro’s announcement that he was going to quit talking. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want silence. He liked the sound of Shiro’s voice and if he had to open up more to keep it from falling away completely, he would.

“I always… I always feel like I care too much and I don’t mean just with Ethan, but  _anyone_.” Pausing to pull the blanket up and around his shoulders for even a small barrier as he spoke, he sighed wondering if he should have just let Shiro go.  _Why would he want to be here? Answer: he probably doesn’t._ Though deep down Keith knew that wasn’t true because he’d known the moment he met Shiro that the man didn’t do anything out of pity.

“No one has ever really cared about me so I try to show my patients that even if no one else in their life cares at least one person does, at least  _I_  do, even if it’s just for the hour that they’re here… but at the same time I feel like any… any warmth I show someone is too much. That it seems fake or… like if anyone even attempts to show it back I feel guilty because I know I don’t deserve it. Which kind of makes me feel like I’m conning people into trusting me or even caring about me.”

Crossing his legs, he twitched his toes and glared at the red socks. He couldn’t look at Shiro as he spoke, and instead shifted uncomfortably knowing this had gotten a lot more personal than he’d meant it to, yet he continued. “It’s kind of why Lance is such a good roommate, for me at least, he lets me keep my distance and even though we’re friends,”  _friends probably wasn’t the right word though_ , “he’s snarky enough that it doesn’t make me feel as guilty about the fact that he’d probably be there for me in most situations… unless there was a cute nurse or something nearby.”

Keith figured that last part was okay to add since it wasn’t a secret that Lance had hit on pretty much every female nurse, doctor, and even (very consistently actually) the chief of surgery. Though the thought of Chief Arus had Keith thinking about the Czar boys again, making him huff. “I wish there was more we could do for Ethan. And Logan… He was crying when I found him in the car and there were already bruises on his arm from where his— from where  _Connor_  was holding him.”  _That man don’t deserve to be called a father._

“And I don’t even think it was from anything Connor did that was making him cry, he just kept saying he wanted Ethan.” Keith closed his eyes, “I’m afraid of what it will do to them if they get separated. Logan is a lot more likely to get adopted because he’s still pretty young. And besides the fact that most people don’t want to adopt two kids,  _no one_  wants one that has multiple injuries and flinches if you move too fast or talk too loud.”

Keith knew that from experience.

Shrugging the blanket off he moved to sit against the wall, needing the support of it,  _not_  because he felt like he needed to be closer to Shiro. Definitely not that because they didn’t know each other. They weren’t even friends. They went on one date which wasn’t even a date and Keith was drunk by the end of it. “I know you said that it’s good that I care, but… I really wish I didn’t.”  _I wish I was like you. I wish I was good enough for your compliments._

_I wish I was good enough for you._

 

**OperationFCC:**

Shiro had a feeling that this was one of the few times – if not the first time – that Keith opened up about himself like this.  The inner turmoil that the younger man felt seemed to be deep-seated, left to fester over the years from a young age.  Shiro listened intently, a bittersweetness settling inside of his chest; it was good for Keith to talk about these things, but Shiro disliked knowing just how low the intern thought of himself.

He breathed out a quiet chuckle through his nose at the mention of McClain’s flirtatious behavior.  He remembered the first time the young intern tried his luck with Chief of Surgery and was met with inevitable rejection.  Later that day, Allura told Shiro, “He’s cute but definitely not my type.”

Keith had moved to sit up against the wall, and Shiro thought about scooting over to give him more room but didn’t.  He wasn’t sure why.  No… that was lie.  He liked having him close.  Keith’s words seemed to trail away, and Shiro remained silent for a few moments in case he had more to say.  When it was clear that he was finished, Shiro sat up a little and turned his body so he was facing him.  
  
“Whoever hurt you should see you now,” Shiro said, and for the first time in a long time, he didn’t try to tiptoe around his words or the feelings that were behind them.  Keith trusted him enough to speak to him honestly, and Shiro would do the same.  “Because they would see a succeeding intern on a path to being one of Altea Memorial’s best.  And more importantly –  _most_ importantly – they would see someone who didn’t let their past affect how well and how kindly they treat people.”  _Unlike me_. 

Shiro took a brief pause, hoping his words were sinking in.  Despite Keith avoiding his gaze, he didn’t let his eyes leave the intern’s face.  He wanted Keith to know that he meant every word that he said.  “It’s hard to care.  But Allura didn’t become Chief because she cared too little.  Dr.  Smythe didn’t become head of neurology because he distanced himself from his patients.  They were just like you when they were interns.  They made sure their patients knew that they had a friend in this hospital and not just a doctor.”  

He clasped a hand gently on Keith’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze of reassurance.  “Just like Ethan knew that he had you as a friend.  And listen… we did the best that we could for them.  I wish we could do more, too… but we can still hope.”

With a small sigh, he withdrew his hand and sat back a little, knowing that whatever he said likely wouldn’t change Dr. Kogane’s outlook on himself.  Shiro was his mentor, sure, but did his words outside of medical jargon mean anything to him?  “I’m not saying these things just to say them, Keith,” he added quietly.  “A person who makes the kind of effort you do with your patients isn’t a bad person.  And whatever ghosts that have come back to make you feel like anything less, well.. I hope you tell them to back off.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:  
**

Keith sagged into Shiro’s touch, his words temporarily soothing the ache in his chest. But Keith’s mind refused to let himself off that easily.

“It’s not that they’ve come back, it’s that they never left… How am I supposed to ask people to trust me when I can’t even trust myself? How can I tell them things will be fine when nothing ever feels fine to me?!” Keith felt like he was talking in circles and probably wasn’t making sense anymore, so he fell silent for a few moments.

 

“I think…” he finally sighed, pulling his legs up again and letting his internal walls close back up, angry he’d let them fall open in the first place, “Ethan was my last appointment today… so I think I’m just going to take the rest of the day off.” Nodding to himself, despite knowing he wasn’t really allowed to just say he was done. If they fired him it really didn’t matter, or at least that’s what he told himself as he inched towards the edge of the bed, they wouldn’t be the first and likely wouldn’t be the last.

“I need to be alone. I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow,” he lied, knowing full well he already planned on calling in sick for at least the next two days.

 

**OperationFCC:**

_The Next Day…_

This was the second time Shiro found himself sitting in his car outside of Keith’s apartment building, wondering whether or not he should even be there.  Yesterday left a lead pit inside of his stomach, and he’d been feeling uneasy ever since.  He couldn’t stop thinking about what Keith and everything he said; or what was going to happen to Ethan and Logan; or how the nurses and interns stared at him when he followed Keith out of the on-call only moments after he’d left.  He wasn’t looking forward to that conversation with Allura.  Normally, she couldn’t care less about who was sleeping with whom, but having it interfere with the job was a big no.

Shiro cursed himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he pressed a hand against his forehead, the prospect of having sex with Keith invading the forefront of his mind.   _Christ, what is the matter with you, Shirogane?_   But the rumors were already spreading about their “date.”  Soon enough, the entire hospital was going to think that Shiro was banging one of his interns, and it wasn’t so much his own reputation he was worried about but rather Keith’s.  Shiro knew how cut-throat interns could be; after all, he used to be one of them.  If the others had even an inkling of a thought that Keith was sleeping with an attending to get ahead, they would stop at nothing to tear him down.

_I need to be more careful.  Bringing him in there was stupid…_

Shiro shook his head and killed the engine, slamming his car door a little harder than he’d intended.

A drink carrier in one hand holding three hot coffees he’d purchased from Starbucks for Keith, Lance and himself, he knocked tentatively on the apartment door.  After a moment, Lance answered, blinking in confusion at the sight of him

“Oh, good morning Dr. Shirogane.  Thanks a ton,” he greeted, sounding pleasantly surprised as he took the coffee that Shiro held out to him. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Hey, Lance,” Shiro replied with a nod and a half-hearted smile. “I was supposed to pick up Keith for his shift today.  I know he wasn’t feeling well yesterday, but he er… hadn’t answered my texts so I wasn’t sure if he was coming in.  Thought I’d come by to check in, just in case.”

“Oh, uh…” Lance glanced over his shoulder at Keith’s bedroom before giving Shiro an apologetic look. “He… still isn’t feeling great.  Sorry you drove all the way over here, Dr. Shirogane.  I’ll let him know you stopped by.  Oh, I’ll take that to him.”

Shiro nodded, removing his own coffee from the drink carrier before handing it to Lance.  “I appreciate, McClain.  Let him know not to worry about his patients.  I’ll make sure they’re taken care of today.  Have a good morning.  I’ll see you at work later?”

“For sure.  See you.”

Lance gingerly closed the door, sighing heavily before tossing the carrier onto the kitchen counter and making his way to Keith’s bedroom.  He stood in the open doorway, peering into the darkened room, the venetian blinds closed tightly against the sun.  He held up Keith’s coffee and tapped the bottom of the cup against his door. “You catch any of that, Kogane?”

**Author's Note:**

> find us on tumblr [@sheithfromvoltron](https://sheithfromvoltron.tumblr.com) and [@sword-and-sheith](https://sword-and-sheith.tumblr.com)


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